For those that don’t yet know it, hypocrisy can be defined as: “an unconscious self-contradiction: a state of incongruence between one’s professed beliefs and feelings and one’s actual beliefs and feelings, or an application of a criticism to others that one does not apply to oneself”. (wikipedia) Personally, I sometimes don’t think its that unconscious. We live in a world where everything we do, and how we do it, is defined by laws, rules, regulations and procedures. Where what is “perceived” as right or wrong is based on pre-established decisions and opinions.
This hypocrisy is affecting everything and everyone. It affects our lives and how we live them; it affects our appearance, our speech, the way we look at people and how we judge them. It affects EVERYONE, as nobody is immune. It’s as innate as the air we breath or the water we drink. We live in it out of habit and surrender to its boundaries. The wrong is not society, the wrong is its hypocrisy.
We live in a world where we are constantly judged, measured and criticized. A place where we try to”fit in” continually; be it at work, home or any social event. Where what looks good and what is appropriate to wear has nothing to do with what makes you comfortable and what feels good; but more with what other people find acceptable and what the news and media find “chick” and “trendy”. Where we care more about every detail of the life of a celebrity (or wannabe celebrity: Jersey Shore Anyone?) than how our kids are doing in school, how our friends are dealing with rough times and how we ourselves are lacking an interesting social life.
Depression, low self esteem, sadness, boredom, insecurity … all derived by an hypocrite judgement provided by others, who are not free of flaws themselves, but are quick to point out flaws in others. Adolescents and grown women, yes, grown women, who find unacceptable to not wear anything that is not smaller than a size 6. Women who feel uncomfortable in their own bodies and have developed enough insecurities to disregard all the beauty that can be encountered in a agile and smart mind, in a wonderful smile, a sparkly sense of humor and an interesting conversation. People that seem to associate nowadays beauty with the trendiest clothes in the smallest sizes and pay attention to nothing else. It is amazing how this judgement by others (who most of the times have more flaws than yourself) have caused a measurable dent in people been able to feel secure and believe in themselves. Last Time I checked… Marylin Monroe wasn’t a size 2 or 4 or 6, and in my book she is still one of the most beautiful women that ever lived. Maybe some of you people should research her.
Then there is the group that will tell you what is right and what is wrong. Those that will tell you what you should do and how you should do it, without looking at their own track record. Those that will advice you over a crisis between you and a friend or you and your husband/wife; when they don’t really have friends and they are not married. Wait, they are not even dating a guy/girl… or even worst they can even get to date a guy/girl. Are those the people you are going to take advice from? How can I advice you on how to get gold if I have never dug for gold myself? Oh, but it happens all the time in our society. People that seek advice from those who have a track record of failure, and people with a track record of failure that give advice. Isn’t that hypocrite on itself? Would you take advice on how to prepare a fancy dish from a person that never cooked? Would you take advice to leave your cake in the oven for longer than you though necessary by someone that already burned his cake? Well …. it happens often and frequently in this society we live in.
And if you look at it from another perspective, there is the “Love Excuse”. Where all is good as long as the reasoning is “Love”. Oh I don’t discipline my kids with anything other than “timeouts” because I love them. I just left (house, kids, marriage, family) everything and ran to him/her because I Love him. Forget about it being right or wrong, when you use the word LOVE it sometimes becomes like the perfect trump card. The thing that makes everything legal and acceptable. That’s when others say: “Oh yea, well in that case yea, I understand!” Excuse me, but NOPE, I don’t understand. Again, last time I checked, most of the people I grew up with are all in some way successful and stable. We all use to get our ___ whooped, and we are not adults or were adolescents with serious behavioral problems. Are you seeing a trend here, because I can see it!!
Why do we have to live by the legal curtains and boundaries of a molarity that is only “convenient” at best under certain situations? Of a set of rules created to criticize instead of support. A set of papers and regulations that make it sometimes illegal to follow your hearth, mind and desires. Why do we have to succumb to the analysis and scrutiny of others less perfect or equally imperfect as we are. Why our decisions need to be balanced between what we like and what we want, and what others may think of us by making our decisions? Why does a person with a neck tattoo has to be judged immediately as troubled, thug , dealer or criminal?
I am not trying to say that we should live a life of complete profligacy or unframed liberty. But neither should we be hypocrites to comply with situations, procedures and rules that are as imperfect as we are imperfect humans. Life is only one and its frugal (read my previous post, life is ephemeral); hanging up on those little things others say that makes us insecure and unhappy is a waste of it! Life is a lot about feelings, about faith, trust, honesty and heart. About giving it your all and being all in. It’s enjoying those things that make you smile. It’s not only thinking about you but also about those that love you and care for you…. and how you affect them. Life is more than just rules and regulation.
You can’t live encapsulated by the finite limits of unrealistic compliance to imperfect laws. Enjoying life is so much more than that. If that’s the way you want to live it, as part of an extremely hypocrite society, you can; but I won’t because for me………….
“It just doesn’t feel right”.
Ricardo Williams – @biggaboss