I have been running rampant for weeks now…. I am guessing weeks, it feels like weeks. Heck, I haven't even been following time, it could be months. My focus is there but my goal is gone. My mission is now to survive, by all means necessary. Although I constantly, every day, struggle with the question: Survive for what? Why? What is the purpose….. if only to live alone or learn to live again? My mood changes, my character flakes, my determination dwindles. I go along my day, each day a single instance; there is no continuity, no desire, nothing but a constant fight.
Provisions are scarce and far in between. What is not rotten is expired; what is not putrid is unsafe. Animals are slowly growing in numbers… birds, wild life, etc. Maybe I should find myself a dog. Been alone is so hard, especially when it is your only option. Loneliness has become like a disease, that eats at you faster than you can imagine. You end up talking to yourself, just to have company… without realizing that the company is yourself. Am I going crazy? Is not like there is nobody else out there. I have heard, I have seen others….but I don't know them. I can't trust them… Groups of 2 or up to 5. I spy on them and follow them just in case they have her. So far, all of it has been unfruitful. It is just me… and myself. Two people, yet the same person.
I started following this group of people four days ago… They seemed different, resourceful, experienced, seasoned. Three men and one woman… for all I can see from afar, she is the leader and damn good one she is. I am very careful and keep my distance, I don't want to be seen. They seem to have a plan, a route …. a purpose! They seem to be in search of something. A thing I can't see or understand, is it a thing or a place ……. or both? This monocular I found a couple months back has proven to be so helpful. I found it in a dead man's bag, his lost was my gain.
Anyway… I have made this my new priority: to follow them until I can get my head straight again or until I find another clue; which seems next to impossible in this land of complete nothingness, desolation and catastrophe. Their is a scary green fog today that is surrounding everything at dusk… sometimes it is green, sometimes red, sometimes orange …. it always seem to change. It makes it hard to watch, hard to see … but I have my eye on them… they are on the move again. But something is different… they splitted up, I can only pick up on 3 … I can't find the fourth one…..
That's when I heard this noise behind me….
Background image found on the internet from http://pictures.4ever.eu/tag/2088/post-apocalyptic-city?pg=3
This will be a series of composites that will span over several weeks.