Ricardo Williams Blog - Biggaboss

Passenger on the Train of Life

Today I was talking to a friend and giving her my point of view about decisions when she said: “I will wait, maybe it changes.” Then she left.

After that exchange of ideas, I sat and thought for a minute.  “Life is short!  It’s Ephemeral” – I said to myself.  We all live in this world and we are all aboard some sort of train.  We are all passengers on The Train of Life.  We are constantly going: day and night; up and down; north, south, east or west; constantly on the railroad to our final destination, to the only thing inevitable in this life is, which is death itself.

This trip is made up of several several stages,  each one can be represented by the cars that make up this train.  Sometimes you are in the first car, with your head out a window, all excited to see the train going and feeling the breeze on your face. Other times you are in another car working hard to keep the engine going. Later you are in another car where all seats are taken and you have to stand for the majority of the trip.  And maybe sometimes you are in a car with a lot of leg room where you can sit and relax.  It always changes, it’s never the same!  The ride in general also represents stages of your life.  Riding by the beautiful mountains (when things are going good) and traveling through the stinking deep valleys (when things are going bad); passing close to the sea shore at dawn watching the sun come up above the sea (the beauty of being happy) and going through endless tunnels of darkness (the shadows of being sad).  Wherever you are the train keeps going.

That said, let’s return to what my friend mentioned earlier; which is what made me think about all of this: “I will wait.”  Here is the way I view it.  In life when you want something, when you like something, you have to go and get it.  You have to get off your train and go and get what you want (because what you want is not always on the same train or on the train itself).  You go with purpose, dedication, determination… like a mission.  Sometimes you are going to achieve it, and other times you won’t.  Sometimes who you like, likes you.  And sometimes they don’t like you back.  Sometimes it’s done and sometimes it cant be.  Whatever the result is, you have to get back on the train and move on.

How many times have we heard/seeing someone that stayed there and waited, for something he/she didn’t even know about.  Sat, waited and saw all the train cars pass…. his/her cars pass by.  And when they realized it, so much time had passed (so much cars were gone) that life had just passed them by.  Then they asked themselves: What happened?  Well, I will answer you: Life kept going, life moved on! Because life doesn’t wait for anyone!

So when you find something you want, someone you like; and you get off the train to pursue it…… be that you achieve it or not, remember there is no waiting time.  Life is short, time is precious… get back on that train.  You can’t always sit back and say: “I will wait, maybe it changes.”  Because: why would you sit and wait for something or someone, when life waits for nothing or no one?

Chu-Chu! Are you back on your train my friend?

Ricardo aka @biggaboss

Ricardo @ Smile-Eat-Receive event - Photo by Jen

Last Saturday I was honored to attend and participate in the Smile – Eat – Receive Project, organized by the Dream Center Peoria (If you haven’t heard about them, you should look them up.  They do an amazing job for the community www.dreamcenterpeoria.org).   This specific project itself is an opportunity to help those in need in the community, by providing food, gifts and a portrait photo to those that aren’t able to afford (or would fine it almost impossible) either or any of those during this Holiday season.

It was the first time for me participating in any project of this type, but I felt encouraged and excited to be part of it.  So I drove some 45miles to get there early on Saturday morning and arrived at the location with my camera bag and my willingness.  I knew nobody at the center or any of the organizers, but that was not a problem.  As I stepped into the designated area for photographers I felt comfortable and at ease.  Everybody there was in such a good mood, very friendly atmosphere and immediately allowed me to feel welcome and appreciated.  We all shared that excitement and desire to contribute.  The sense of unknown immediately turned into a sense of comfort.

The organization was, in my opinion, admirable and pleasantly surprising.  The photo stations were set, 90% of us photographers were already there on time, and the adrenaline was flowing.  After a brief introduction, prayer, selection and distribution into our corresponding areas, with our work partners, the event started.  Parties of people started coming in, ready and excited for their photos.  The experience of meeting and interacting with such a wide variety of people was humbling and served as a learning lesson.  To stand there with my dSLR and all that photo equipment, early on a Saturday morning (who likes to be up early on a day when you are supposed to sleep in??), with a satisfactory breakfast already in my system and comfortable clothes warming my body on a cold December morning……. to be there… and see how I take for granted so many things that others do not posses….. was HUMBLING!  Just as a little example, I met a lady who could not provide an address for us to mail the photos later (in case she couldn’t come for it the same day, because YES, the photos we shot in the morning were ready for pick up in the afternoon) just because she didn’t have one.  And on top of that she confessed she hadn’t worn make up or had her photo taken in at least 10 years.  When she saw her photos, the smile on her face was priceless!  That made me pause…… and put many things into perspective.

Been able to just interact, have a conversation, provide smiles, uplift, send out some good wishes and provide a photo to all these people was just incredibly amazing.  Volunteering for that event was one of the best decisions I have made. At the same time I had a chance to meet some extraordinary people and photographers.  You could inhale photography knowledge from that room. I got the chance to work the whole day with Todd Quinn (www.flickr.com/people/toddquinn/) we were sharing a photography area and the guy was great at providing advice and tips on portraits. We created a pretty good working team and he was also  incredible at handling our guests and helping them select their image of choice.   As soon as I got there one of the first persons I met was Jen (www.urbanbarnphotography.com) she is an incredibly beautiful woman and amazing photographer, it was great hanging out and talking with her.  She is the one that took the photo shown on this post.  Joshua Berardi (www.joshuaberardi.com) is an great photographer and amazing photo retouch artist, it was nice to see him work his magic.  Jeff and Julia Woods (www.jeffreyandjuliawoods.com/) a tremendous tag-team photography combination of expertise, sharing and passion.  As friendly and as unique as they come, they were both very much and very well involved with the project in every aspect.  They were others and more photographers there like the legendary and iconic Bob Summitt (www.summittphotography.com/), from Henry, IL.  What a pleasure to see Bob work and what a great person he is.

All in all it was a fascinating experience, great organization, happy people and a happy day.  Everybody should get to experience something like this at least once in their life.

The Hypocrisy of Society

For those that doesn’t yet know it, hypocrisy can be defined as: “an unconscious self-contradiction: a state of incongruence between one’s professed beliefs and feelings and one’s actual beliefs and feelings, or an application of a criticism to others that one does not apply to oneself”. (wikipedia)  Personally, I sometimes don’t think its that unconscious.  We live in a world where everything we do, and how we do it, is defined by laws, rules, regulations and procedures.  Where what is “perceived” as right or wrong is based on  pre-established decisions and opinions.

This hypocrisy is affecting everything and everyone.  It affects our lives and how we live them; it affects our appearance, our speech, the way we look at people and how we judge them. It affects EVERYONE, as nobody is immune.  It’s as innate as the air we breath or the water we drink.  We live in it out of habit and surrender to its boundaries.  The wrong is not society, the wrong is its hypocrisy.

We live in a world where we are constantly judged, measured and criticized.  A place where we try to”fit in” continually; be it at work, home or any social event.  Where what looks good and what is appropriate to wear has nothing to do with what makes you comfortable and what feels good; but more with what other people find acceptable and what the news and media find “chick” and “trendy”.   Where we care more about every detail of the life of a celebrity (or wannabe celebrity: Jersey Shore Anyone?) than how our kids are doing in school, how our friends are dealing with rough times and how we ourselves are lacking an interesting social life.

Depression, low self esteem, sadness, boredom, insecurity … all derived by an hypocrite judgement provided by others, who are not free of flaws themselves, but  are quick to point out flaws in others.  Adolescents and grown women, yes, grown women,  who find unacceptable to not wear anything that is not smaller than a size 6.  Women who feel uncomfortable in their own bodies and have developed enough insecurities to disregard all the beauty that can be encountered in a agile and smart mind, in a wonderful smile, a sparkly sense of humor and an interesting conversation.   People that seem to associate nowadays beauty with the trendiest clothes in the smallest sizes and pay attention to nothing else.  It is amazing how this judgement by others (who most of the times have more flaws than yourself) have caused a measurable dent in people been able to feel secure and believe in themselves.  Last Time I checked… Marylin Monroe wasn’t a size 2 or 4 or 6, and in my book she is still one of the most beautiful women that ever lived.  Maybe some of you people should research her.

Then there is the group that will tell you what is right and what is wrong.  Those that will tell you what you should do and how you should do it, without looking at their own track record.  Those that will advice you over a crisis between you and a friend or you and your husband/wife; when they don’t really have friends and they are not married.  Wait, they are not  even dating a guy/girl… or even worst they can even get to date a guy/girl.  Are those the people you are going to take advice from?  How can I advice you on how to get gold if I have never dug for gold myself?  Oh, but it happens all the time in our society.  People that seek advice from those who have a track record of failure, and people with a track record of failure that give advice.  Isn’t that hypocrite on itself?  Would you take advice on how to prepare a fancy dish from a person that never cooked? Would you take advice to leave your cake in the oven for longer than you though necessary by someone that already burned his cake?  Well …. it happens often and frequently in this society we live in.

And if you look at it from another perspective, there is the “Love Excuse”.  Where all is good as long as the reasoning is “Love”.  Oh I don’t discipline my kids with anything other than “timeouts” because I love them.  I just left (house, kids, marriage, family) everything and ran to him/her because I Love him.  Forget about it being right or wrong, when you use the word LOVE it sometimes becomes like the perfect trump card.  The thing that makes everything legal and acceptable. That’s when others say: “Oh yea, well in that case yea, I understand!”  Excuse me, but NOPE, I don’t understand.  Again, last time I checked, most of the people I grew up with are all in some way successful and stable.  We all use to get our ___ whooped, and we are not adults or were adolescents with serious behavioral problems.  Are you seeing a trend here, because I can see it!!

Why do we have to live by the legal curtains and boundaries of a molarity that is only “convenient” at best under certain situations?  Of a set of rules created to criticize instead of support.  A set of papers and regulations that make it sometimes illegal to follow your hearth, mind and desires.  Why do we have to succumb to the analysis and scrutiny of others less perfect or equally imperfect as we are.  Why our decisions need to be balanced between what we like and what we want, and what others may think of us by making our decisions?  Why does a person with a neck tattoo has to be judged immediately as troubled, thug , dealer or criminal?

I am not trying to say that we should live a life of complete profligacy or unframed liberty.  But neither should we be hypocrites to comply with situations, procedures and rules that are as imperfect as we are imperfect humans.  Life is only one and its frugal (read my previous post, life is ephemeral); hanging up on those little things others say that makes us insecure and unhappy is a waste of  it!  Life is a lot about feelings, about faith, trust, honesty and heart.  About giving it your all and being all in.  It’s enjoying those things that make you smile.  It’s not only thinking about you but also about those that love you and care for you…. and how you affect them.  Life is more than just rules and regulation.

You can’t live encapsulated by the finite limits of unrealistic compliance to imperfect laws.  Enjoying life is so much more than that.  If that’s the way you want to live it, as part of an extremely hypocrite society, you can; but I won’t because for me………….

“It just doesn’t feel right”.

Ricardo Williams – @biggaboss

Life is Ephemeral

The title is as true as it is hard to comprehend.  But yes, Life is Ephemeral.  Wait, don’t reject the idea, don’t deny, obstruct, refuse, renounce it.  Don’t treat it as disbelief.  Just think about it for a while…. Let it rest in your thoughts, your mind, your thinking.  It’s really not that hard to believe, absorb, comprehend.

Our physical time is counted, and it goes by in a bliss.  If you analyze it, every second that passes, is a second less for each and every one of us.  Every breath, every blink, every minute, hour or day is one less.  From the moment we born as much as we start growing and learning we start counting back.  And time goes by so fast that we fail to realize how fast, transitory and short-lived life is.

Now with this I am not trying to be dreadful or pessimistic.  I am not trying to bring you down or give you “the blues”.  If you decide to get down on yourself, be sad and pessimistic for the rest of the day/night (or the rest of your life) that is your choice.  All I am saying is: things go by in such a bliss, that we should spend more of our time trying to enjoy the beauty of everything, rather than just going through the motions of our existence.  Hold on now, I am not trying to give you an excuse to open debauchery, licentiousness, profligacy and all similar.  I am not giving you an excuse to say: “I will live crazy now and everything  should be accepted as they may be no tomorrow”.  Or “I have license to do whatever I want, no matter who is hurt, because there is only one life and I need to live it now”.   If you thought that’s what I was trying to say, you got it all wrong.  This is not an excuse for frugality and principle-less living.  Is not a free pass for mischievous  conduct or indecency.

All I am saying is: “Just Live!”  We spend so much time wondering about the unknown, delaying our decisions for the best available time or the better time.  Refraining from choice because the situation is not “perfect”.  Struggling and fighting a battle between our desires and our society; between what we want and what others think.  Between how we feel and how we “should” feel. Avoiding that so desirable moment because the timing is a bit off, or the planets are not aligned.  Because it is not “exactly” what you want; or should I say, is not the “perfect” situation you are longing for.  We seem to delay all for that future better time, when all will “magically” come together…… forgetting how ephemeral life really is!

Don’t get stuck in those moments of life ineptitude that can last for days, weeks or even months. Find your passion, hobby, niche, look for the beauty in the most common things.  Embrace it and enjoy it.  Don’t  wait until the “perfect” time to talk to that person you are interested in or to say the “I’m sorry” that is long overdue.  Don’t take those times when the going gets tough, to lay down and dwell in misery, as each moment (easy, happy, sad, difficult, unbelievably-hard) has a lesson to embrace and a purpose for your life.  Believe in yourself and ……. LIVE!

Because nobody can guarantee that a future moment will come, where all timing will be perfect and everything will be smooth. At least not on this earthly life.

So make the most of what you have now as you don’t know what will happen ……  and how ephemeral life can be ……. in the blink of an eye!

@biggaboss

Communication

What differentiates humans from other animals is the way they process their thoughts.  Humans have the distinctive ability of learning, combining new information and knowledge in order to gain new understanding. We also have the ability to apply the same rule or solution of one problem to a totally different problem or situation effectively.  Now, that must be really special having all these abilities and being able to analyze things and situations.  But besides all these “great” characteristics we fail miserably in a simple one, where most of other species have us beat:  COMMUNICATION.

Something so simple to do but so difficult to get done. It is, in my mind without a doubt,  one of the the biggest (if not the biggest) problems with humans living in our society.  We talk but we don’t communicate.  We hear but we don’t listen.  The most simple way of communication is between two people, only two; and yet we are able to still fail miserably.  Imagine then when it involves a  meeting with a group of five, six or above…… total debacle.

When having a meaningful conversation with someone, being able to understand that person and being able to allow yourself to be understood requires communication. When dealing with friends, co-workers, family, loved ones, guests, clients, suppliers, or anybody; talking for any period of time will mean nothing more than words if there is no understanding and accountability for what is said or discussed.

Why is it so difficult? I think they are many reasons.  When you are having a conversation and you start to hear about things you don’t agree with or you don’t like, the communication gap starts growing.  When you are criticized or misunderstood you just don’t listen anymore. If you believe you are right when someone is trying to correct you simply zone out.  When your mind tells you something, your heart tells you something else and society says yet another thing;  and you are unable to express those things effectively with words…. you are miscommunicating. Lack or excess of empathy, disinterest, avoidance, fear, irresponsibility, inability to accept your decisions, guilt, peer pressure, other people’s opinions, stubbornness, ignorance, dishonesty, selfishness……. all these are reasons that affect proper understanding between each other.

The cognitive characteristics of humans and the idea that we should assume, perceive, judge and reason exactly what the other person has in mind is also part of the demise of communication.  How many times have you heard: “he/she should have known that”, “who else would have said it if not her/him”, “he/she should understand my behavior”, “why doesn’t he/she get it?”, “he/she will figure it out sometime”, “he/she won’t understand, so I might as well not say anything”, “if I act this way maybe he/she/they will figure it out”.  I could go on and on.

Putting our personal interests above everything else, living our lives trying to please or accommodate everybody else views of us (distancing or disregarding our own) and the “me, me, me me” mentality puts a huge dent in all kind of relationships and the way we understand each other. It’s time to change that.  It’s time to make an effort to communicate effectively.  We, humans, are too smart to allow miscommunication to be the cause of so many conflicts in our lives and society.  If there is something you need to converse with someone just do it (without being rude); don’t assume or expect, just sit (or stand) and talk.  Tha’ts what civilized people do.

I mean, isn’t that part of what differentiates us from other animals?

Ricardo @biggaboss

Sledgehammer?? ... Bring it!!

When Life hits you like a sledgehammer, you need to stand strong like a frigging wall!  But not like a dry wall, or a wood wall.  Not like a cement wall or even a concrete wall.  You need to stand strong like a humongous wall; like the ex-Berlin Wall or like the Chinese wall or like an old Time Castle Wall.  A strong wall that protects your kingdom, your people, your treasures, yourself.

So, after writing the title of this blog, I wondered: LIFE How do you define it? What is it really? What does it mean to people?

According to Wikipedia: “Life (cf. biota) is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have signaling and self-sustaining processes (biology) from those that do not,^[1][2] either because such functions have ceased (death), or else because they lack such functions and are classified as inanimate.^[3] ”

According to Dictionary.com Life is:  ” the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.” Plus a few more definitions.

According to TheFreeDictionary.com Life is: ” The property or quality that distinguishes living organisms from dead organisms and inanimate matter, manifested in functions such as metabolism, growth, reproduction, and response to stimuli or adaptation to the environment originating from within the organism.” Plus a few more definitions.

In this specific topic LIFE is something different, is not a scientific event or definition.  It’s not about breathing or heartbeats, but it encompass much much more.  It can be defined as:  “The actions and events that occur in living (affected by oneself and by others) and constitutes a person’s existence over the course of his human activities.” Does that sound complicated? After reading it about 3 times I am sure it will make perfect sense to you!

Life is a complicated but simple effect of existing…. of living. And it comes to you like a Tsunami sometimes: without warning or control and with the force of an atomic bomb.  Just like a sledgehammer directly to the chest.  But we as humans have the ability to support and withstand these blows, fall and rise again, and get ready for the next one!  As I see it “Never Give Up”, “Don’t look Back”, “Keep Pushing,” “Never Quit” are not only cliches, they are necessary facts for survival.  Those are the things that give you the strength to stand up like a huge defying wall.

Sometimes you just want to have complete control of life.  Impossible!! See as you can recall from the above definition.  The events in life are controlled by oneself, but also by others.  Trying to be in control of it all is, in effect, not living. Being afraid to let go and experience events is sometimes living an incomplete life.   You can not live without loving and you can not love without living. Pain and sorrow included.  At the same time you can’t live life through others you can only live it through yourself.

Granted: the weight of problems in life are sometimes much more than we can carry. It’s when you feel that nothing is working, that nowhere you turn you can find aid.  Is waking up not sure if you will have enough energy to get out of bed.  Going to bed with one thought in your head and waking up with the same thought later.  Is needing an answer but not knowing it; it’s having no clue how you will get through the day.  When the weight gets so intense and you feel that you have nowhere to go, nowhere to turn and nobody to help you…… remember you are not alone.  Others have had the same issues, difficulties, pains you are having…. even if you don’t know about them, even if you don’t think they have.  Open up, look for guidance, have faith, speak, communicate, pray and remember a very important verse: “Don’t worry about tomorrow as tomorrow will take care of itself. Today has enough worries on its own” Now, after repeating it to yourself, feel free to share your load of worries with the BIG MAN UPSTAIRS as he will surely help you carry that load, as you need not to carry it alone.

Life is what happens to us everyday.  It’s what happens to us because of us but also because of others.  Embrace it, don’t be afraid of it; of  its trials and tribulations, its good and bad, the pain and sorrow, and the happiness and laughter!

You can only do one thing with life… and that is live it.

Ricardo – @biggaboss

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The Lion in Me

I guess after you read the title of this post you will be wondering until the end what I am talking about.  Where should I start?

Life is a book that is written everyday.  As much as you would like to write your story  from the beginning until the end, most (if not all) of the times the story will change.  And certainly not in a way you can control.  You have this perfect comfortable script that you diligently analyze, write, read, proofread, edit and finally publish.  When in absolutely no time the script is totally changed.  If the changes represent tranquility,  happiness, health, comfort, economic abundance, stability or success…. they will probably go unnoticed.  But if the changes bring sorrow, pain, disgust, resentment, discomfort, poverty, sickness or sadness … immediately a red alert bulb will go off on your script and you will notice how everything have changed.  Most of the times (if not all) the bad changes seem to be more frequent and probably on a 10 – 1 ratio in relation to the good changes.  Who would disagree with that?

When your script has changed, voluntarily or not, for good or for bad, for better or for worse, there is always a learning experience in it all.  That’s how it is.

Sometimes understanding and accepting that your story needs to change is the biggest change of it all. Over analyzing, over compensating, avoiding the introduction of changes, stubbornness, limits, people comments and gossip,  already written chapters of perfection, fear, scare of not knowing, living too far ahead in the future, etc. all those things can prevent you from seen the good of things right in front of you!  All those things can prevent you from living LIFE!  As long as you are doing what’s right, and not hurting yourself or anybody, why not welcome a little perspective in your LIFE!

Now, when you are struggling with these changes, that’s where the title of this post comes into effect. You need to be able to fight through the hard times, learn to be tough, seek and listen to advice, be strong, pray, have faith, have hope, rely on your family and rely on your friends.  Real friends, either old or new, recent or not, first or second level, male or female, just friends or more than friends…. they all, if their hearts and feelings toward you are right, will give you the boost, energy and support you need at different points in time when you are re-writing your story.  And sometimes they won’t even know it!

So remember to always enjoy LIFE with all that it brings, because being alive and healthy is a gift!

One hint, the photo in this post has nothing to do with the 3 words that represent the title! Or was that 2 hints?!

Ricardo @biggaboss

Me and my Mom

They are things in life that can not be replaced or compared.  That can not be explained or completely understood. One of those things is family, but more precisely a mother-son relationship.  There is only one mom for every person, and my mom is most likely the best of them all.

Being a mother is a very difficult task.  Raising and taking care of a family, of a son; keeping the financial situation of your home stable; taking care of all her child needs until you are in a position to take care of yourself.  Standing strict on rules when at times you, the kid, do not understand.  Risking herself to feel momentarily un-loved or “mad at” for the sake of your future better well being.  Taking the blame for situations that were not fully under her control. Sacrificing herself and her needs and happiness for yours.  Conflicting with your ideas just to show you that they are other ways you may not see at the moment.  Supporting you when you need a shoulder to cry and shaking you hard when you need a good “tough up” moment.  Providing words of advice and wisdom that will help you continue, survive and surpass some of the wickedest low balls life can throw at you.

Being a mother is not only being there to enjoy your successes; it’s being directly reason/part of your success. Is being strong when you have no more strength and finding a way when there is no more road ahead.  Is being attentive, decisive and understanding.  Is having the ability to discern,  punish and reward without a training manual.  Is nothing to be easily explained but whose love can be easily experienced.

Today is my Mom’s birthday.  To the person that has always being an inspiration to me and the woman I look up to as a fundamental part in my life! The one who has cared, provided and taught me so much.  The same one who has punished me and made me mad at times also, but mostly for my own good.  To a rock and a foundation, pillars of strength and determination.  To the woman that gave me the gift of life and will always provide unconditional love.

To you mom: THANK YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Celebrate many many more and may God Bless you!

I LOVE YOU so dearly!

Ricardo – @biggaboss

Alone in the Flood

It’s hard to imagine that the tree in this image is really in the middle of a parking lot.  And that the grass we see at the bottom of the image is from the sidewalk that borders  the whole area.  Isolated and abandoned, in a position where nobody can reach it;  that’s where the tree is.  Surrounded by water  and mud, standing under an unidentifiable sky.

Is it cloudy or is it sunny? Is it windy or calm? Is it cold or warm?  By simply watching the image you wont know with certainty, but you can speculate.  You can see the light on the water coming from the left at the bottom of the image, which could let you assume with good probability that the sun was out and probably setting.  You can also see the blue sky, but the clouds, what do they really say?  You can also and assume, as the water do not appear calm, that it’s a windy day.  But how can you really know?

Aren’t we sometimes exactly like that tree?  No matter how big and successful we are; how much we are loved and cared about; how much money we have, how healthy we feel or how many friends we share with.  At times you just feel stuck in mud, with a cloudy sky on top of you, water surrounding you, and nobody near you.  People will look at you from away and assume, like the photo suggests, that the sun is out and the sky is blue.  And fail to see exactly where the tree is.

Surely they will be times when you feel that nothing is going your way, that the harder you try the more difficult it gets.  That the harder you hit the brick wall the thicker it gets.  You could think that the more you walk the darker and colder it gets.  No matter what you should never give up. Do the right thing and never give up, eventually you will be out of the situation and smiling again.  It may not be as fast as you want, and you may stumble many times along the way, but you will get there.

These are part of the stages of life.  Things you need to go through to come out stronger and ready for the other stage.  Eventually the water will reside, the mud will be cleaned up and the isolation will be no more.  The stage will be over.  What you learn from that situation will help you in the daily process of living and will prepare you for the next stage that life brings.

Ricardo – @biggaboss

Perception in our Society

In the times we live now, things are not always what they appear.  And what they appear are more important than what they actually are.  We live in a society of perception a society of “what it looks like” instead of “what it is”.  If there is something very difficult to change nowadays it’s the rules of society.  What people consider to be good or bad; right or wrong; acceptable or not!  What is perceived to be OK!!

For example, take a look at the photo in this post.  Won’t you think after seen the first photo that I could be regarded as a socially awkward introverted gamer addicted nerd?  If that was the first time you saw me won’t you think I was pulled out from the no dress class-no style salon-no game in hand group? What if you never crossed a word with me. Would that be what you think about me forever?  Or maybe the first time you saw me I was showing off an attitude like you see in the second photo.  Hard nasty look, skull on my side-way cap.  Or what if it was worst and you saw me looking like this? Would you think I am a computer systems engineer, web developer, photographer that speaks 3 languages?  Or maybe you see me like I look in the last photo.  What would you imagine? That I am a guy dressing way below my age? Something that would let me seem as immature, stylish, funny, friendly and cool.

What if I am all of them, or what if I am neither of them.  How can you tell who I really am? Only by getting to know me.  But in these times we live in now, getting to know a person is not as important as getting to talk about them without knowing them.  These are the times where the favorite topic of conversation is the life of others.  Not that I am considering that a problem.  It is when you start gossiping and creating stuff that is not there based on assumptions that you really don’t know…. that it becomes a problem.  With this I am not saying that you should deconstruct what society has based part of its foundation, generation after generation.  But put a little thought into your perceptions and your words.

People in this world and this era we live in are defined by how they are perceived and their behavior.  In this fast paced environment you can’t get to know anybody completely before granting him/her a level of trust and acceptance.  Add that to all the different degrees of personalities out there and you can easily see how things get complicated…. FAST!  People jump to quickly JUDGE others.

There is nobody on earth that is good enough to judge anybody else!  You can have your own opinion, conclusion, idea, but don’t judge, don’t hate!

There is something very true about a phrase that many people know:”People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!”  This is so true.  Maybe people should not be defined by just that one thing (or many things) they did that made you hurt so bad.  That doesn’t necessarily make them a “bad” person.  But it surely puts a huge dent in how they are perceived and says a lot about their “personality and character“  It’s only then when these two sayings make sense: “Hate the sin, but not the sinner! Hate the act but not the person!

I am not saying that you should like everyone, but Life is too short to hate anyone!

So.. who in the photo do you think I really am?

I am all and none!

@biggaboss